Grammys: The Emmys of Music

I've never been one for award shows. Not that it makes any difference what-so-ever, but the truly deserving never actually get an award. Case in point.

Led Zeppelin, arguably the Christopher Columbuses (sans the Indian killing) of 60's and 70's rock, finally won an award. This happened 25 years after the fact. I should at least give some credit to the panel Grammy recipient choosers for not simply waiting until the entire band was dead, which is what normally happens.

What really chaps my ass about this year's Grammy contest is the fact that U2 won anything, let alone multiple awards. Why? Well for one U2 sucks worse than a $2 crack whore with lockjaw. Another reason is that bands who use other languages, like Spanish, in their lyrics for no reason other than they are trying to cover up the fact that their music is intolerable by using other languages in their lyrics, is painful and unbearable. Especially when said band uses the Spanish in the most incorrect way. This simply makes you look like an idiot. Job well done.

The song that U2 was given a Grammy for opens with the line "Unos, dos, tres, catorce..." So not only is his Spanish atrocious, but it's apparent that he missed his counting class in the 1st grade. This is because uno not unos means one. Unos means some or any. In addition, quatro would be 4, where as catorce is 14. Not that we need another song beginning with "One, two, three, four...", as original of an idea that is. But "Some, 2, 3, 14..." is even worse. For those of you no-taste in music havers who say, "But Bono sings 14 cause it's their 14th album... waaaaah..." thank you for further proving my point of how lame this band is as well as its fans. I think Bono should stick to hugging trees and leave the music to the musicians.

Moving on. There was one of those multiple-band tribute songs for the victims of the tsunami. It was so bad, that I wished I were one of said victims. I don't mean to sound callous, because it was a huge tragedy, but so was "Across the Universe". This performance was so mismatched that it makes the Nsync/Aerosmith combo from the Superbowl look like meat and potatoes. The only time that Billy Joe from Greenday should be on the same stage with Tim McGraw is if he's beating Tim to death with his leather cowboy hat.

I think we should hold a fundraiser for Victims of the Multiple Band Tribute to the Victims of the Tsunami. It will be Debbie Gibson, Mc Hammer, Meatloaf, Queen Latifah, and Jared from Subway. The single with be nothing more than the suicidal screams of the washed up singers (and Jared) as they fly a personal jet they don't deserve, loaded with explosives, into U2's studio during a recording session. Thus making the world a better place for all.

Random thought... you know those cheesy coffee mugs they make with a picture or your choosing printed on them? I want a coffee mug with a picture of me holding a coffee mug printed on it.